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Navigating nostalgia this year proves to be a nuanced endeavor. I’ve displayed my twenty-plus Christmas Village buildings and their corresponding adornments, hung stockings for our family of five humans and two dogs, and embellished a gorgeous tree further beautified with our cherished memories incapsulated in delicate ornaments, strings of pearls, and our children’s many handmade paper ornaments. An especially sentimental activity was the assembly of my renowned “Starbucks Tree,” bedecked with a Starbucks ornament from each year since my sister’s collegiate tenure at the coffee giant. Our impending New Year’s greeting card subtly hints at the Clarkers’ forthcoming endeavors, including Paige’s current graduate studies and the potential pursuit of a PhD, Issac’s ambitious undergraduate studies, Brendan and Robbie’s endeavor towards dual US-Irish citizenship, and the anticipation of Bella’s impending fame as the most adorable Boston Terrier in Ireland.

This season, tinged with a hint of melancholy, unfolds against the backdrop of our gradual departure from our cherished abode, affectionately known as the Huff House. Each unearthed decoration triggers a persistent internal debate, forcing me to weigh the significance of memories against the necessity to part with possessions. I find myself imparting the reality that next year, our holiday festivities will unfold in a different locale, as we embark on a life-altering move to Ireland. Each cherished item becomes a poignant decision—what stays to accompany us on our journey, and what finds a new home with another family? The holiday preparations prompt questions about the fate of various items, from a quarter-mile lighted garlands to the Christmas Village, and an assortment of Christmas serving paraphernalia, demonstrating the consumerist habits I aim to shed in our impending Irish adventure.

Amidst the bitter moments, there’s a sweet undercurrent—the prospect of a promising future. I am enthralled by the anticipation of dwelling in a country with more progressive ideologies, a rich and decolonized heritage, and a secondary education system for Robbie devoid of the prevailing threats faced in our current surroundings. I eagerly anticipate a lifestyle marked by reduced consumerism, enhanced healthcare access, and a welcoming attitude towards immigrants—an appealing departure from the divisive sentiments observed in our American two-party presidential elections.

Looking ahead, I am excited about the prospect of downsizing to a smaller living space, with only essential furniture and minimalist decor, mirroring the scale of Irish homes. The promise of accessible transportation and the opportunity to explore European Union states further amplifies my anticipation. Above all, the excitement stems from the chance to start anew.

The backdrop of recent years has peeled back the layers of my country, revealing disconcerting shades of greed, ignorance, and power-driven sociopathy. The 2015 election year exposed a stark reality—the election of a self-professed sexual abuser to the highest echelons of power, shaking the blind and ignorant among us. In 2020, the traumatic experiences of Black Americans, exemplified by the killing of George Floyd and countless others, laid bare the depth of systemic issues. Simultaneously, the collective response to the COVID-19 pandemic highlighted a disheartening prioritization of social lives over the preservation of countless others.

While nostalgia often invokes a fond remembrance of the past, for me, it serves as a catalyst for introspection and a rejection of ignorance. Despite the emotional difficulty of leaving the life I’ve painstakingly built, my family and I embark on a journey reminiscent of our ancestors, seeking a better quality of life in a new land—much like those who arrived in America when the systems of their homelands had faltered.